Hurting loved ones

After reading by Debra Anne Davis I discovered that I have some issues in common with her.  I am not the kind of person who likes to get into arguments, and I would rather just leave the problem alone then confront it head on.  However, unlike her, I would defiantly stand up to anyone who is really hurting me.  I would scream, fright, bite, kick, whatever it takes to NOT be raped.  I would also tell someone right away.  I would never be too afraid to not say something after the rape took place.  If it honestly did there would be hard evidence, and that person would pay for the act they did. 

Here are some stats on teens, sex, and rape:
http://www.soundvision.com/Info/teens/stat.asp

stalking/abuse

Over the years I got magazines like Seventeen; in those magazine articals there is usually at least something about rape, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and in one case that I can remember there was an issue on stalking.  The artical about stalking really caught my eye.  A female had wrote in talking about how she kept on seeing a male walking around outside her apartment, and she saw this man around more and more especailly after she and her boyfriend broke up.  Months went by and this man appeared closer and closer to her apartment.  Sometimes she would walk outside in onto her front deck and she could tell the chair had been moved, or items knocked down.  She would wake up in the middle of the night, look outside and think she saw him staring at her through the window.  She called the police, had higher security installed, and a security patrol man on duty 24/7.  Eventually she moved out and never saw the man again.  She is lucky enough to never have a true encounter with her stalker, becuase many people who have stalkers are eventually hurt by them.  After reading this artical and the readings in the book it does frighten me to walk alone at night.  I have many night classes, and my boyfriend lives only a few blocks away; I often walk back from his house at night and I have found myself more than once walking VERY fast (pretty much running), looking foolish, but being very scared from walking back from his house. 
Things like the University Safe Walk is comforting to know that it is available, but I never really think to call them at all.  Other things like this should be available to all kids.

Race and Women

I always new that people were treated differently based on their skin color.  I don't know why exactly, but that's just the way the world works.  I also always knew that men used to (and sometimes still are) be more superior than females.  After reading the article A Brief History of Working Women it really made it clear how much African American women suffered.  White women for the majority had it pretty well off.  Most were stay at home moms: their job was to raise the children, make sure the house was always clean, and make every day items (soap, ect.).  African American women were working women.  Slaves.  I think that that is terrible the way the used to be treated, and the ways that they are now a days treated is sometimes just as bad.  I also thought it was horrible that white women who had slaves, or survants treated the female slaves terrible.  I agree with the book that it was because she saw something of herself in the African American woman.  Sojourner Truth's speech is a great speech that really makes me thinks about the differences between white and black women.  I thought it was very interesting that Native American women were sometimes thought of more superior to the males.  It is funny how much control the females had over them (when the book talked about how the females sometimes with held food from them if the males were doing something the females didn't agree with, becaue the females were in charge of agriculture.)  I think that today we're much better about the way females, and females of different races are treated, but there still can be some improvement.


Sojourner Truth's Speech: Aint I a Woman
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vr_vKsk_h8

Unpaid Labor in the Home / Sexual Harassment

While reading Unpaid Labor in the Home it really made me think about how my house was run while I was growing up.  It said that most homes the women work an additional 19.4 hours a week doing housework, while the men only work 9.7 hours doing it. Becuase of all of the additional hours women get more stressed out and feel anxious.  While I was growing up I feel like my dad contributed to much of the housework; but like the book did say it was mostly outside work like cutting the lawn, or seasonal, like putting up Christmas lights, and more.  He sometimes did help out with other housework such as vaccuming, and doing the dishes.  If my dad could tell that my mom was under a lot of stress he would offer to do more like cook dinner, do dishses, sweep the floors, etc.  Not many guys I don't think are like my dad becuase he does work really hard on his job, and he had a big role as a parent in my up bringing (it wasn't just my mom's responsibility to raise my brother, sister, and me).  So overall I think that my dad did much more than the average man.

Sexual harassment is a big problem at the work place, and a huge problem in schools.  Men like to think that they are superior to females, and I think that the way they feel like they need to express it through a sexual way.  As I was reading this part of the book I couldnt help but think of the movie North Country.  This movie showed how women were starting to work "man jobs" (while working in the mine) and how the men were not happy with this what so ever!  They would put fake penises in the ladies lunch boxes, write degrading words in the women's room with feces, and would ask women for sexual favors.  One of the girls father worked at the same mine she did and never said a word to the other men because he didn't want to stand out and embarass himself.  Throughout the movie the females take the issue to court and you learn much about a lot of the different acts that were put into law that will protect women agaist behavior like this.

Here is a preview to the movie North Country
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXkVQm0QPyY

Marriage vs. Love

The article in the book about marriage and love not being hand in hand I agree with some and disagree with some. I believe that growing up in America we have the choice to decide who we love and who we decide to marry. There are no pressures from our parents forcing us to marry anyone, it is our free choice. There are however some circumstances that bind people together. Pregnancy does make someone apart of eachothers lives forever; but there are so many families that are getting divorced daily, there is no shame in not getting married just because the female becomes pregnant. In many other countries of the world there are prearranged marriages that i strongly disagree with. Females shouldn't be forced to be with a man that many times does not treat them well. Also many couples that are married and have kids decide to stay together just for their children, when they are not in love anymore and do not want to be together. I think there are many issues in the acticle that are true and many that are untrue.

Coparenting

The video that was shown in class the other day was very interesting to me. I like to think that I am a very open minded person and some of the things going on in the video I didn't agree with. I have nothing against gay couples and I don't have any problem with them parenting; I do however don't agree with the "coparenting". I think that although every family is differenty and have different structure I don't think its a good environment to bring a child into. Growing up with both sets of parents living in the same house can be a little awkward--it actually reminds me of polygamy, and many people think that polygamy is unmoral. Gay couples should be entitled to have children, they clearly want them so bad, and if a child is wanted they will be cared for very well and will be very loved. The child might have some kids make fun of them because of their parents, but it is becoming more socially accepted. Coparenting will make the childs life very difficult because of their friends and becasue not many people will support it. I think that it would be very difficult to creat a stable lifestyle for the child if not all parents are on the same parenting style, or if they all have different schedules it would be hard to have time for all their children the same amount of times. The vidoe was interesting and maybe later in life it will be coparenting will be more socially excepted; as for now I don't believe in it.

Coparenting

Girls Rock

At a first glace of the video I didn't really care for it very much.  As the video continued I am very glad that we watched it in class; the video was very inspiring.  I loved what the goal of the Girls Rock Camp—teaching young women to be proud of themselves for being their own person is very courageous. Now-a-days girls are too focused on fitting in and trying to be popular; they are concerned with what they wear and who they are friends with instead of worrying about important issues.  I also loved the fact that the video gave stats: 4 out 5 girls are sexually harassed by a school mate; the number one wish for teen age girls is to lose weight; and that only 22% of music video industry is made of up women—those women are 5x more likely to be seen in revealing clothes.  After watching this video I totally agree with what the camps motive was.  And I defiantly agree that women should be standing up to be themselves and not have to fit in a bubble of what boys think they should act and look like.

The Twilight Reading

When the twilight books first came out I was never too interested in them, when the first movie was very popular I thought I would give it a chance.  After I saw the movie I decided that the series was not for me!!  I am very glad that I changed my mind and decided to give it a chance-I loved the books!  I never really thought much about the love triangle between Bella Edward and Jacob, but after reading the piece I realized that Bella is a total player (usually boys are viewed as that), and she is the one in the realtionship really pushing to go further in a sexual way with Edward.  When I usually think about girls in realtionships I never think of them as the one being in control, or wanting to go further than the boy does; I usually think of them as being "tag-alongs" and just doing whatever the guys want.  When I think about the guys in realtionships I feel like they try to force the sexual things in the realtionship.  I like that they twist it in this saga.  I think that many girls can be more sexual then they lead on to, or feel like they can't express it becuase that is not the socail norm.

Phenomenal Women

I thought the poem Phenomenal Women was very inspiring, and very true.  I think that the way women are portrayed as an art figure is kind of a hard expectation to live up to.   The line “I walk into a room just as cool as you please, and to a man, the fellows stand or fall down on their knees.  Then they swarm around me, a hive of honey bees.  I say it’s the fire in my eyes, and the flash of my teeth, the sing in my waist, and the joy in my feet.  I’m a woman phenomenally, phenomenal women, that’s me.”  I think that first it states how much control we have over the males, but at the same time I think that it states we (as women) have to always look our best, and be okay with males swooning over us.  As a girl I am flattered when boys come up flirt, but when the flirting is unwanted then it gets very annoying.  On the other hand when I don’t try to dress up and boys pass me by I feel kind of offended.  This is the reasons that I think it is a hard expectation to live up to.

Dove Videos

Dove’s advertisements are different than most ads because most of the ads shown in magazines and on TV have beautiful, thin, mostly white females; or have the handsome, strong, muscular men.  Dove ads have women of all ethnicities, all shapes and sizes, and all ages.  They are showing that everyone is beautiful and women need to embrace their own bodies and view themselves as beautiful. I think that this is a very positive way to advertise; yes dove is probably making money off of it, but they are still trying to be honest about “true beauty”.  The ads Dove shows on TV are empowering.  My favorite one was Evolution.  Young girls look up to the media so much in how they should dress, and what the ideal beauty is.  They try to be that thin and look that good, when in reality most of the ads seen in magazines are all edited where the model can look completely changed.  Girls should see the model before and the model after the editing is done and decide then what beauty is.

I know we watched some videos in class but here are a few more about photoshopped images:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbBmX2Qnv3Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP31r70_QNM

Sexual harassment in the office

I think that many women are affected of sexual harassment at the office.  Males try to be superior to women and I think a way of doing so is by bullying them via sexual harassment.  In the movie Norther Country there is a great display of sexual harassment going on in the work place.  I'm very glad that there are new laws enforced that make it easier for women to take cases like those to trial and now the women's past can not be brought up and it can be an easier way for women to actually win their case.  I do think more can be done within the work place to make sexual harassment less of a problem.

men decide what is hot

In the readings I really had to agree with what was being said because I think that in society girls look up to the boys to see what they want and what the boys think is "sexy" because women want to dress to impress.  The male version of the perfect girl is unattainable: they want three somes, virgins, and porn stars.  I think that I agree with most of the readings, women try too hard to live up the expectations and only do things when being watched by males.  When it said that girls will hook up with girls and it is acceptable but only when done in front of men I strongly agree because I have seen this done before and it is basically every guys dream come true (only if the two females participating in the activities are attractive).  Because it's mostly guys who watch porn (and from a young age) they think that the moaning is what is "normal" and what is what normal sex is like; when in reality it's not, forcing the female to "put on a show" for men.  I strongly disagree with the expectations men set girls to live up to, females should be setting the scene for what is sexy and what is not because we have to wear the clothes and we need to feel comfortable in what we wear.

Gymnastics

Fall is finally here! That means that the new gymnastics season is starting.  I love gymnastics. I’ve been teaching it for the past 4 years (in Fond du Lac, my hometown) and love when a new class is about to begin.  Little girls and boys are so excited to use all of the equipment and it’s so fun to see how much they can learn in only 6 weeks.  Usually there are a lot more females than males so I guess this sport can relate to class because it is a gender specific sport: it is predominantly females.  The boys are my favorite to teach though!  The boys are the ones that are usually the most enthusiastic and ready to go right away and the girls are typically shyer (at first).  I guess we will see what this season brings!

First Relection

While reading the first chapters and discussing some of it in class I can easily see the stereotypes of being feminism and masculine because I even make the same assumptions.  Feminism refers to females, being dainty, loving pink, loving to shop, being a care-giver, being an emotional supporter, being just plain emotional, being beautiful, thin, etc.  When I think about masculinity I picture strong, muscular men, being the financial supporter of the family, always taking the lead, not showing much emotions, being stubborn, tall, defending "his woman" if there was a need to, etc.  I am one of the people who don’t easily see past that the typical stereotypes, but after reading the first few sections and talking about some of the issues in class I am starting to change my mind.  I do know that women do a lot to better our world and are very strong; some being single parents therefore making them the ones financially responsible.  On the other side males are also changing; lately there have been a lot more single dads who need to be the care-giver of the family.  I can see now how many times the stereotype of a specific sex (male or female) is reversed. 

Also I’d like to talk about another issued discussed in the readings: mythical norm (white, middle class, heterosexual, able, thin, and a young adult).  Much of chapter 2 talked about institutions and how they central in creating systems of inequality and privilege.  Institutions produce messages that shape our understanding of social life.  I totally agree when the booked talk about that if something isn’t “normal” it’s mostly frowned upon.  When the book discussed that heterosexuality is dominate and the opposite of that would be lesbian or gay (the subordinate) I easily related because in society it is clear that many people don’t approve of same sex relationships.  Hopefully we the people can change some of the typical norms and adapt to some situations because the world is always changing around us and we need to see that the way we used to see the world is different than how the world is today.